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The lack of sex generates these serious problems
Do you want to know the secret of couples whose members have smiles from ear to ear? Much sex!
According to medical sexologist Carmen G. Valcárcel-Mercado, several surveys conducted in different parts of the West (United States, Mexico and Europe) reveal that an average couple has sex between two and three times a week (eight to 12 times per month).
“The more frequent and satisfying the sexual encounters of the couple, the stronger the emotional union and the commitment to stay together,” says medical sexologist Alicia Fernández.
The expert argues that sex has three main functions in a romantic relationship: erotic, reproductive and communicative
The Sexual Peak
The sexual peak of men is at 18 and that of women, between 28 and 30. Then, in an ideal world, would the perfect couple be composed of a woman of 30 years and a man of 18?
“This maximum level refers to the amount of testosterone in men and estrogen in women, not necessarily sexual performance,” says Dr. Valcárcel-Mercado. As the year’s pass, the libido decreases, especially in the case of females.
“The woman’s ovaries stop functioning completely, unlike man, who continues to produce hormones. There is a fairly high percentage of women who say they have lost their sexual desire after the menopausal process, not so many men in the process of andropause, “says Dr Fernandez, a specialist in human sexuality.
This explains the existence of the “old greens.” It’s all because of your testosterone level!
Is the Desire Over?
There are many reasons why one partner can lose their libido, such as psychological health and experiences in the sexual area. ” It depends on the situation, the age of the couple, the upbringing of the couple and even the religious aspect,” says Dr. Fernández.
Valcárcel-Mercado, on the other hand, assures that, sometimes, the causes are biological, the use of medicines or “recreational drugs” (especially marijuana) and diseases, among others.
“In other occasions, the causes can be mental: depression, anxiety or poor self-esteem. Situations related to resentments, disappointments and even the loss of confidence,” he adds.
The Female Sexual Appetite
Will there be many men out there who need an intensive course of lovemaking to lift a woman’s sexual appetite?
According to Dr. Fernández, many times the woman does not want to have sex with her partner because he or she does not have adequate approach techniques or maintains mechanical sexuality. “Sometimes, he does not even kiss her. This mechanical sexuality for women is not rewarding, “says Fernández.
On the other hand, my friend, if you want a little love, put your share: help your partner clean the house, take care of the children and cook.
“We can not take from the perspective that the woman has many more responsibilities in terms of attending to the house, to the children, to the husband and, on top of that, she is working. This causes the woman to run out more and, obviously, this is going to affect her sexual appetite, “he warns.
The Kings Of the Brainiac?
There is a widespread belief that men need more sex than women. Myth or Reality?
“Multiple scientific studies have shown that, among humans, it is men who have the greatest sexual desire. Men think more about sex, fantasize more and seek more sexual encounters, “explains Valcárcel-Mercado.
“Biologically, men have a higher concentration of testosterone, called the ‘desire hormone,'” he adds. Things as simple as the smell of a perfume, the tone of a particular voice, the style of a piece of clothing, among others, can be the trigger of male desire, says the specialist.
According to Dr. Fernández, men are taught to assume sexuality differently than women: “This one has more opportunities to express their sexual desires, while women are taught the opposite,” he says. However, for the happiness of the female gender, the situation is changing, because women know their sexuality much more, demand it and express it, according to Fernández.
Faced with a problem
Do not doubt, sex is as important in a relationship as the end of the month check. The fact that one of the parties to the couple wants to have sexual relations and the other cannot generate serious problems.
If the demands of the one who wants sex are adequate, he does not receive an answer and is sexually dissatisfied, this will cause him low self-esteem, anger, irritability, withdrawal, feeling rejected, developing thoughts that his partner maybe with another person, that He does not like it anymore or he does not like it, warns Fernandez.
These feelings affect the passion, intimacy and commitment existing between the couple. “The emotional stability of the couple is affected. This can cause fights, affect dialogue, physical, verbal or emotional aggression can occur and can lead to separation or even divorce, “says Dr Fernandez. Even if not addressed, this situation could generate infidelities.
On the other hand, Fernandez warns that you should not force the person who does not want to have sex to have it, “since the sexual manifestation is free and voluntary of each human being. Forcing or forcing sexuality can lead to an accusation of sexual assault. “
The Average Term
“Everyone should develop empathy in relation to how their partner is feeling. They have to find a middle ground so that both parties can be pleased. The sexual frequency of the couple is a decision that falls to both, “says Fernandez.
The sexologist recommends that the couple talk about their intimate life, negotiate a mid-point and evaluate what situations may be causing the lack of sexual desire. Then you should proceed to seek professional sexological help. “The sexologist would work with sexual therapy, sex education and revaluation of sexual attitudes,” he concludes.
Did you know…?
A study recently conducted by David Weeks, a Scottish neuropsychologist, revealed that sex helps couples look younger, in addition to providing multiple benefits to physical and mental health.
According to cybernetic reports, Weeks, of the Royal Hospital of Edinburgh (Scotland), concluded that couples who have sex three times a week appear to be 10 years younger.
According to the research conducted by the neuropsychologist, 25 per cent of a youthful appearance is related to genetic conditioning, while the rest (75 per cent) has to do with certain habits that the human being has, including sex.